I was in Oregon for four weeks. And, I decided to end my stay in Oregon prematurely, pack up my dorm, and drive that 900 mile drive home to be where I wanted to be. I was homesick, missed family, hated not seeing my friends…but ultimately, the decision became clear after having the best Friday in Oregon (minus the pumpkin patch) where I met a friend from class at the library for homework and then got to go to IMPACT where I was able to work with a four year old who has cerebral palsy. After that, I was able to get ready for my Saturday morning departure to spend time with my friend Christina who lives in Portland. Let’s just say any day with IKEA, window shopping, Paper Source, mac and cheese at a Portland restaurant, followed by baking, crafting, and dogs simply cannot be beat. And when that day came after feeling so productive and at ease on a Friday, and then is followed by a Sunday of making waffles?! Well, let’s just say having all that happiness, bliss, and awesomeness squeezed into 48 hours…my reaction driving back to Corvallis and realizing this won’t be how I feel at least once every day because I wasn’t doing what I really wanted to do — it hit me like a ton of bricks. Make that ten tons of bricks. I cried from a little after twelve noon till almost eleven that night when Susan, bless her heart, let me come over and just talk it all out. By the time I went to bed that night, my heart made its decision and my mind could find no fault.
I spent my last couple days at Oregon State walking around campus, making sure I did everything properly when leaving. I talked with my professors and TAs letting them know, I talked with friends about the decision, and I really looked into my next steps. My life has never been the most organized but I have always trusted my emotions and when I listen, they are seldom to steer me in the wrong direction. And then I made sure I was able to get as much stuff on campus that I wouldn’t be able to get with a meal card at any other time of my life. I had lots of coffee, ice cream, and Fentiman’s.
And on my last day, it was sunny but I mostly was inside cleaning, packing, and doing laundry, It was an absolutely gorgeous day and a day that made the next day move seem more bittersweet than it would have felt had it been cold and rainy.
Remember that friend Susan I mentioned earlier? Well, she was kind enough to take me in on my last night in town. And, I think I had the perfect last night in Oregon. Carving pumpkins with people I absolutely adore and eating pumpkin seeds.
Wednesday morning at 5:15AM, I got into my car and drove that 900 mile drive alone and so ready to get home. I made it, and will not be driving a whole lot anytime soon. I am happy I was able to recognize where I was personally and make the change I needed to. (I loved the views on the drive — I’m a sucker for flat land with pale color schemes and the In-N-Out was divine, as always)
I’m working on my next move in this crazy little thing called life, but I am beyond blessed to be surrounded by such kind people.
I’ll be posting again once the unpacking is successful.
Have a great weekend,